Getting up at the crack on a Saturday morning sucks. Sitting for 4 hours in a flourescent-lit classroom sucks. Listening to Stopping Distances at Different Speeds for hours sucks.
But the People Watching is absolutely phenomenal.
Where else do you get a 70-year-old drunk, a 21-year-old lesbian whom the instructor refers to as "sir" more than once, a 30-year-old pregnant woman, four 25-year-old chain smokers, 2 sister missionaries, a 40-year-old Japanese woman who speaks zero English and frantically copies "the notes" from my manual, a man with a belly so round that every time he stretches the folding table almost tips, a middle-aged man who won't stop loudly clipping his finger nails with pieces hitting the guy in front of him (true) forcing "the victim" to angrily (understandably) get up and slam his book down in a new seat . . .incidently next to the guy in the bright blue parka with his feather-trimmed hood up - of which, as hard as I tried, I never did get a glimpse of his face -, a little guy who kept has hood over his eyes and slept until the instructor asked people to hit his desk until he woke up (it took 3 or 4 pounds), a man - my personal favorite - who claimed he wasn't speeding and wrongfully ticketed - the whole room erupted into laughter - (I thought that defense was reserved for robbery, arson, and murder. please), a girl who had her dad drop her off (apparently she drives, right?), a girl who takes every phone call she receives. . .she is such a VIP, and an instructor who is retired, wearing shorts, socks and sandals, and thinks he is way wittier than he is. . .ALL IN THE SAME ROOM, for four hours! I mean really, it's priceless. Oh, and so is the reminder to slow down and wear a seatbelt.
I can't wait for next year.
I also love how when I google photos of getting pulled over the first thing up is Britney Spears. Perfect.
9 comments:
You make me laugh so hard - and then you make me a little sick. (I have some issues with finger nail clipping.)
Alert Alert - I just heard traffic school can be done online.
But then, what would you have to post about?
Never mind.
Looking forward to next year too.
I did traffic school online last time. (actually, ben has only until tomorrow to do his! dangit)
the city that i got my ticket in this time does not offer online courses. they make you go "people watch." Longer, but much more entertaining.
i love you briar!!
I've only had one ticket in my entire life and it was last year. I had the choice experience of attending traffic school in the great city of Pleasant Grove, Utah. Sounds much like your experience! It does make my top 5 list of people viewing places!
i hope you didn't get some std when you were there.
Briar -you win the prize. I just paid the damn fine and let the ticket go on my record... And just look at all the fun I missed, dangit.
Ok, let me get this straight - Ben is skiing off cliffs and you're speeding in every city in Utah??? Ben, no more aerial acrobatics and Briar, slow down and drive like the middle-aged Mom that you are. I can say this because I'm one too...assuming we die in our 70's. But I feel middle-aged, don't you? Love you - don't make me worry...my worry card is all full with my husband out cross-country skiing right now in the -15 temps.
Ha ha ha. Can I come too? Er, wait.
LC
Post a Comment