B r i a r H e r e: Don't Feel Bad About Your Weeds

At least you didn't need a tractor for a week to get them all out.

But our backyard neighbor did.

About Me

I’ve always wondered who forces the drivers of Camaros to grow mustaches. Is there some secret law? Or is it just a sad, sad misunderstanding? Same question goes for female cops with French Braids. My favorite word in Spanish is Tortuga. The word "slacks" always makes me smile. I cannot handle it when people say that something really makes a color “POP.” Speaking of which, I can’t handle popped collars either. I love the smell of wet dirt. I am fascinated by what people have in their grocery carts. If it is full of Cheetos, Mac n’ Cheese, Mountain Dew, and Froot Loops, well… that might explain things. I’ve never seen Bambi. The song Loro by Pinback has a sedative effect on my kids. Benadryl does too, but the song is less sticky. I can’t handle people who are flakey. Just call. I’ve always wanted to meet the ever-elusive “THEY.” Those mysterious, seemingly fashionable people my mom always referred to. Because for some reason, she always wanted me to wear “what they are wearing.” If you’ve met them, let me know. Quite frankly, it grosses me out when people get overly excited about food. You know the type. The first song I ever downloaded was Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror (only being honest). I’ve cracked my head open and had it stitched up four times. I've been to Space Camp . . . honest. If I had to live off of one thing, it would have to be homemade tortillas, rice, and beans. And Rosa Cavazos would have to make it for me. Yes, I would be fat, but fat and very, very happy. I never let anyone cry alone. It’s a problem. If we ever drive by a stranger’s house with a million cars out front, I always have to express my disappointment that I wasn’t invited. I vividly remember being 10 and thinking it would be SO COOL to be 13. If you know me, you know that I have a true disgust for balloons. I’m surprisingly shy in new situations. My greatest achievement was surviving my toxic pregnancy with Téa. My greatest disappointment was turning 13. Ben has a certain smile that can get me to do anything. I am taller than you. I've been bitten by an octopus, squirrel and snake. . .among other things. I love love love to swim. My favorite perfume is Diesel Plus Plus. That, or L'Aromarine's Oceane perfume from Anthropologie. I can't decide. I’m a stay-at-home mom. And no, I don’t scrapbook. And yes, I am still a good mom.

B r i a r H e r e

Monday, June 15, 2009

Don't Feel Bad About Your Weeds

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